Gotham High: The Lowdown
by I'maChair5050
Summary: A senior student at Gotham High gives the lowdown about some of the most well know and infamous students in school. Based around the cancelled Gotham High cartoon. One shot...for now.


When you're a teenager, what do you often consider to be hell on Earth?

Hell itself?! Well, I guess that is true, but I mean the physical embodiment of everything that you despise.

High school. By a country mile.

It is here where I bring up the hell hole of a school where I go to.

Gotham High. One of the most dangerous high schools in the state.

Of course, not _the _most dangerous high school. That would obviously go to Bludhaven High.

It is with that in mind that I'm thankful that I don't live there, thank you very much.

That being said though, that doesn't make Gotham High any less insane.

What makes it insane? I'll tell you: everyone else is completely psycho! The students, the teachers, I've even heard rumours about the freaking janitors that still make my skin crawl whenever I think about them.

I'm lucky that I'm now in my final year and will soon be moving on to college.

Of course, not everyone here is insane. Take my friend Barbara Gordon, down in freshman year, who I've known most of my life. She's a smart kid and great with computers. She has since picked up the nickname of "Oracle".

Harvey Dent is also a nice guy...well, half of him, anyway. Half of the time, he's a nice guy, whilst the other half, he's a complete psychopath. He has since picked up the nickname "Two Face"

And that's where the list of sane people ends, in my opinion.

Why the nicknames, you ask? Oh, everyone in the school has a nickname, reflecting on their personality.

For example, there's this one guy in most of my classes who I absolutely can't stand. People say he's funny, I just view him as both psychotic and annoying. I can't remember his name, though. I think it might be something like Jack. Anyway, its his clowning around that has earned him the nickname of "The Joker".

The same goes for that kid who always follows him around: Harleen Quinzel. She's just like Joker, except...her voice. It's like nails scraping along a chalkboard every time she speaks. She's also obsessed about the Joker, prompting the very much plausible rumour that she's in love with him, hence her nickname: "Harley Quinn".

Then, there's Harley's "BFF", Pam Isley, or rather "Poison Ivy". Sure, she's good looking and all, but she has this weird thing for plants. Hell, the other day, I saw her in a deep discussion with a small cactus on the window ledge of my maths class.

Some of the jocks are a bit insane as well. For example, there's this one guy called...actually, I've never heard his real name. In fact, no one has, as he prefers to be called by his nickname: "Bane". To say he has issues would be an understatement. He's been to at least four different high schools. Hell, at his last one, he was expelled for **_breaking his vice principal's back!_ **I kid you not. I'd rather not mess with him, myself. Have you seen that guy?! He's huge!

The same goes for Waylon Jones, AKA: Killer Croc. Whilst he's about the same size, he's still fairly infamous in his own right. Why "Killer Croc"? You probably haven't seen his face. I don't know what he's got and quite frankly, I don't want it. Which is why I stay as far away from him as possible.

As is often the case with high school, these two often are found picking on the "losers". One of them in this case is that little nerdy guy with the green pants, Edward Nashton. Sure, he's a smart kid and all, but he's one of _those _nerds. You know, the kind of nerd that always tries to prove how much smarter they are than you. However, what makes him weird is that fact that he appears to have some sort of fetish for riddles. He's nicknamed "The Riddler", in case you're wondering.

Then there's his friend, Oswald Cobblepot or "The Penguin" as he's often called. I've never really noticed much about him, only that he doesn't really like Joker much, so that's a plus. Why "The Penguin?" Well, have you ever seen his nose...?

Alongside them, there's old Victor Fries or "Mister Freeze" as we call him. He's okay, I guess. I'd like to hang out with him, but he's ice cold, in every sense of the word. Every time you even try to get closer to him, its like dropping the entire Arctic down your pants. That's before you even get onto the fact that he is possibly the most pale kid in the entire school. He also appears to have a crush on this girl in our year. Nora, I believe her name was. Believe it or not, she and Vic actually went out on a date and according to Barbara, she enjoyed it. Admittedly, though, I am partially envious of him, as he doesn't seem to feel the cold. During the winter, we we're turning up in thick coats and scarves, he's turning up in t-shirts and shorts like its the middle of August.

There's also Basil Karlo. Now, the thing about this guy is that he's a great actor. A _really _great actor. One of his many skills in his arsenal is the ability to almost perfectly impersonate anyone and everyone. He's impersonated Joker, he's impersonated Bane, he's even gone and impersonated me a couple of times (it was creepy, I can tell you that). He also has a thing for clay modelling, hence his name: "Clayface"

Then there's Johnny Crane or as he's now known, "Scarecrow". He's particularly nasty. Smart, but nasty. He often catches the ire of someone, often by teachers, by slipping people drugs. One time, he even spiked the water fountain with a special substance he called "Fear", causing about half of the school to hallucinate about their fears. It's a good thing I don't drink from the fountain to begin with.

Then, there's Slade Wilson, or as we've grown to call him, "Deathstroke". He's what we refer to as a "Schoolyard mercenary". Basically, people hire him to do their dirty work for a small fee, be it setting up pranks, finding out stuff about someone or beating someone up. It's this last thing that he is best in. Almost everyone has asked for his services at some point. At the same time, pretty much everyone is scared of him, even Killer Croc, which explains why Riddler and Penguin have been acquiring his services a lot recently.

Alongside him stands Floyd Lawton. Unlike Wilson, who prefers close quarters combat, Lawton prefers to pick off targets at a range. And boy does he do that well. Be it with pencils, spit balls, water balloons, you name it, he never misses, hence his nickname: "Deadshot". Contrary to popular belief, he and Deathstroke actually get on quite well with each other.

Then there's Garfield Lynns. You know how most schools have that one guy who likes setting things on fire? Well, Lynns is our school's version of that guy, hence the nickname of "Firefly". Need I say more? Most people tend to steer clear of him. Even Deathstroke, who usually leaps into action without thinking twice.

Hell, its not just the kids that are crazy, some of the teachers are completely off the wall. Take my science teacher, Professor Strange. With a name like that, are you really expecting much? I don't really know why, but everything about him just creeps me out. It could be down to that voice, but personally, I put it down to his facial hair. No sane person should have facial hair like that!

Hell, even Principal Al Ghul doesn't really seem to be all there. Every time I happen to walk past him office, I always hear him ranting about how he will purge the world of all evil, corruption and pollution. What's more, he seems to be under the impression that of all the people who could replace him, I'm the perfect one. I don't even plan on becoming a teacher, yet he's all like "You'll make a fine successor" and I'm all like "You're crazy!"

That being said, though, despite the craziness, there are still a few crazy people that I can still get on with, somewhat. Take Selina Kyle, one of the most talked about girls in our year. To say she's good looking is far from an understatement. She's also a bit of a flirt. At the last Halloween party, she wore a black cat costume. It was...revealing, to say the least. And yet, despite everything, there's one guy she always ends up coming onto the most: me. I don't know why, but she always ends up flirting with me. There's only one problem, as far as I can tell: she's crazy. By crazy, I mean that she has an unhealthy obsession with cats. Everywhere she goes, she has something cat related, be it cat pictures in her locker or her ringtone, which is the constant sounds of meowing. With her, sometimes I'm turned on. Sometimes, I'm creeped out and sometimes I'm both at the same time. All this has led to her nickname : "Catwoman".

And then, there's Talia...

W-what do you mean that I'm blushing?

What? No! I do**_ not_** have a crush on Talia!

Okay, maybe I do. A bit.

I don't really know why, but there's something about her that draws me in. Perhaps that's why Selina is so fixated on me: she wants to have the edge over Talia. That being said, though, why would she care. She's miles out of my league. Besides, it bad enough that she's Principal Al Ghul's daughter.

So, its with these things in mind that I prepare myself for my final year of high school. I'm kitted out with the right equipment, I've got a good mindset and I'm not planning on letting anything get in my way from completing the year.

Oh, how rude of me. I just realised I said all this to you without introducing myself.

The name's Wayne. Bruce Wayne.

A nickname?

Well, I do have one, but it's different from the others. Whilst the others were given their nicknames by everyone else for who they are and what they are like, I picked this one myself for who I will be.

Before I tell you, I need you to swear not to tell anyone else. Got it? Good.

_*Ahem*_

**_I'm the goddamn Batman!_**


End file.
